you continue to ruin my day zooey, even 10 years later

ok so some of you know and some of you dont....but at Northwestern my freshman year i shared a dorm suite with Ms Zooey Deschanel. and now she is marrying Ben Gibbard? part of my trifecta?

zooey....enough is enough. this personal vendetta of yours to make my life look like crap that all began that fateful night when i woke you at three in the morning screaming ODB's "baby i got your money" draped in halloween decorations? and you came out guns blazing cursing my name? (even though you kept the rest of us up more than once with your incessant playing of the spice girls' "if you wanna be my lover" during one of your many aderol benders....)

well it needs to stop. i get it. you win. you got the last single member of the trifecta. and so all i can say is FUCK YOU. now LAY OFF.